Thank you for contacting customer service

Dear Education Client,

Thank you for alerting me to the problem you are currently experiencing with your Education Product. I assure you that we are working diligently to address your concerns.

Upon checking your purchase history, I see that you have ordered some of our Learning Tokens, which, when accumulated in sufficient numbers, can be exchanged for entry-level employment at a rate of remuneration marginally above the government-mandated minimum. I apologize for any difficulty that you may be experiencing in accumulating these Learning Tokens.

Despite the best efforts of our Education Company, these Tokens occasionally cause difficulty for our clients. We disclose the possibility that Tokens of Grade B or lower may be issued, when Tokens of Grade A are preferred. As our Waiver indicates, these variances in Token Grade are not a result of our quality control, or of Token availability. Rather, they are designed to encourage you to accumulate these Tokens in a way that leads to ancillary benefits for you, the Education Client.

You have indicated that your current Token is unwieldy, and that you are concerned about the Grade of your Token. I assure you that your Token was issued with the utmost attention to your Client Profile. Unfortunately, we cannot guarantee Token Grade at this time. Further, if you inspect your Token closely, you will see that the Grade controls are in fact accessible by you, the Token user. If you are having difficulty in operating the Token Controls you may wish to set up an appointment with our Customer Support team. Most of our clients find, however, that with sufficient effort they are able to operate their Tokens in a way that provides our intended ancillary benefits while at the same time increasing the Token Grade. This may require you to read our Support Materials.

We regret that we cannot accept returns of Learning Tokens. You may, however, withdraw from the Token system at any time, and exchange your accumulated tokens for entry-level employment. You may also upgrade at any time. (Upgrades are reflected primarily in ancillary benefits, and while they are likely to be reflected in the Token Grade, we can unfortunately make no guarantees.)

Please do not hesitate to contact your teacher Education Product Representative if you have any further questions or concerns.

Your Education Product Representative

1 comment:

Jane Austen Jr. said...

Hehe, nice letter. pissed, are we?